Resolving Grief

Grief is something people may carry around years after the original shock of death or loss.  They may think that now they are over someone’s death or someone’s absence in their lives, but many times when discussing other stressors, the sadness or guilt, surrounding the death or absence of a loved one surfaces. Unresolved grief can be a factor in other difficulties in one’s life such as: sadness, a feeling of emptiness, lack of motivation, chronic illness, depression, addictive behaviors, etc.
One thing we always do when applying EFT, is assess on a scale of 1-10 how much something bothers us now. Of course, when we first suffered the loss, it was a 9 or 10 on this scale. But what is it now, now that you think about it? Many clients may say it is still a six or even higher, even though it may have been years and years since the loss.

Sometimes, when a person thinks of the death, or the last time they saw that person, they will still see in their mind a picture of how that person looked when they died, or how they looked when they said good-bye. Now, when they think of their mother, for instance, they see her in the hospital bed gasping for breath, with tubes and bandages all over her. This is understandably a terrible way to remember your mother. With EFT and hypnosis, we can change that picture to one of your mother, for instance, when she was younger and healthier. You can remember a fun time when you were together. Then, when you think of your mother, you remember her in this more pleasant way. We don’t eliminate that other memory, so if you are talking to your sister about the day your mother died, for instance, you will still be able to remember it. It just won’t be the first thing you see in your mind’s eye when you think of your mother. Also, the memory of her in the hospital will no longer make you feel sad or upset.

This process also works with a potential loss. Think of someone who means a lot to you and represents love, or security, or even responsibility. If you worry about their possible death, or their possibly leaving you, you may feel sad or lonely even though they are still here with you now. With EFT and hypnosis, we can remove this worry. You will, of course, still be concerned, you will still be very careful, you may even make some plans for the time that their death or absence may happen, but you will just not worry about it any more. The fear will be gone.

When people lose a loved one, there may be several other feelings that contribute to the grief. For instance, one of the primary feelings is sadness. You miss them. But, maybe you also feel guilty. Maybe you think that it is your fault. Maybe something you could have done would have prevented this loss. Maybe it really was your fault. Maybe you inadvertently did something that caused them to die or to leave. When we work with this guilt, you will have a more accepting feeling towards yourself. You will forgive yourself or others who may have been at fault.

I have many clients who used to feel guilty that they weren’t present when their loved ones died. We can remove that guilt with EFT and hypnosis, too. Maybe you think you shouldn’t remove the guilt because you feel you should be punished. We can remove that guilt, too. It is not helpful for you to continue to punish yourself, and it can lead to physical problems.

Maybe you are angry with someone or some circumstance that caused this death. Maybe you feel resentful. Feelings of anger and resentment are best removed also, to completely get over the grief. Maybe you are angry with a hospital worker or doctor who did or didn’t do something that you think they should have or shouldn’t have. We don’t remove these feelings to be kind to the person who wronged you or your loved one, we remove them to allow you to feel better and put this event in the past…
Maybe you have anger at the person who died or left you. Maybe you feel badly about having this feeling and are somewhat afraid to even admit it. We easily remove that feeling also.

When all the related uncomfortably feelings are totally eliminated you can easily say that when you think about the person who died or left, that on a scale of from 1-10, you rate your grief as a one or even zero.

Will you forget your mother? No, you just remember her in a more favorable way. Will you ever be able to forgive your father, wife, or girlfriend for leaving you? Yes, you will, and you will feel so much better. You will feel that a weight has been lifted. You can start thinking about your future free from the grief that had been dragging you down. It is a very freeing feeling.

With hypnosis and EFT combined, many times one session is all it takes to let you rate your grief as a 1 on the scale of 1-10.

As with all techniques, results may vary.